Hello Reader,

Part 2 of 3: You Can't Outrun Your Fork

(Did you miss Part 1? Click here to read it.)

Having grown up watching shows like The Biggest Loser, I was taught that extreme exercise was the solution to any weight problems. If you were overweight, it was because you weren't working out enough.

So I pushed harder and harder, but you can't outrun your fork.

Exercise filled a void when the scale stopped moving. Fitness gave me other goals to pursue. People complimented me again. I might not be fast, but I could go far, and that gave me a sense of success.

I started with walking, then jogging ("wogging" was a more appropriate term) 5Ks, then half-marathons.

Eventually, I joined a women's triathlon team, then completed a 200-mile distance cycling event for charity and a Half-Ironman, which is 70.3 miles.

These were good years! I made friends in the fitness world and found self-confidence.

Yet I continued to struggle with my weight, and being involved in body-focused sports perpetuated the issues. I was still the plus-sized athlete.

The intense exercise burned calories, but it also drove my appetite through the roof. I felt like I was on a never-ending hamster wheel of restriction and then overeating. I was rarely satisfied, and food was forever on my mind.

I will never forget the night before a triathlon at a get-together for the athletes, when a friend of a friend looked at my stomach and said, "How great that they allow pregnant women to race!" (I wasn't pregnant.)

How could this humiliation be my "after" success story?

What I was too ashamed to share then: I was still binge eating.

The behavior had improved, but it never completely went away. I thought about food continually and was hungry a lot.

I went off the rails most weekends and holidays, and when I went off, I went WAY off.

I was exhausted. And bitter.

I regretted not having weight loss surgery, because a lifetime of working this hard felt like torture.

Our family was living through an incredibly tough season of parenting our son with extreme mental health and behavioral needs. Our marriage and ministry suffered.

Ultimately, my husband, who is a pastor, took a call to a new church in New York. This meant a life-altering cross-country move away from the only home our five children had ever known.

We struggled to fit into a new environment. I was lonely, sad, and grieving the loss of many things.

Turning to food for comfort didn’t feel optional - it felt necessary to survive.

When my weight reached a (post-weight loss) high of 180 pounds, I knew I had to make a change. I was back in the overweight category. As a weight loss coach, I felt like even more of a fraud and failure, trying to hide my hips and stomach in photos.

I returned to Weight Watchers, once again tracking what I was eating, starting meals with veggies, and putting an end to my "I'm grieving, I can eat anything I want" attitude.

Right before we left Colorado, I was part of a research study for people maintaining weight loss. The doctor heading the study became my mentor and advocate, and she wasn't afraid to tell me the truth, like the fact that my eating binges and weekend splurges were the reason I couldn't reach my goal weight (not a faulty metabolism).

I saw what the doctor was saying, but I still clung to denial. I was convinced that I had to eat less than other people, or I would gain weight.

I couldn't see how that very behavior was the root of my problems.

My business partner at the time and I were rewriting the curriculum for our Christian Weight Loss program, Faithful Finish Lines. As part of the process, we strictly followed our own weight loss guidelines along with our beta test group.

We introduced the concept of pre-tracking and following your plan exactly. I was shocked when I started to lose weight. I thought I was the unicorn with a broken metabolism.

Even though I had preached basic weight loss practices for years, I wasn't fully following them...until I did.

Watch for the next email tomorrow with Part 3, or click here to read the whole story now.​

Can you relate? Click reply and tell me about what resonates with you the most.

Blessings,

Sara

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